


Brotime Story

by FishPrincess



Series: HSWC 2014 Bonus Round 6 [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Language, Licking, Violence, bestiality mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 06:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2099613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FishPrincess/pseuds/FishPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Genre blending: High fantasy + Sit-Com. For HSWC Bonus Round 5. A response to a prompt by Dreamwidth user maria_j_harper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brotime Story

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maria_j_harper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maria_j_harper/gifts).



so youve been having trouble sleeping or whatever which is not much of a big deal in retrospect like what kind of motherfucker needs sleep anyway? if youre blind does that mean that you sleep when everyone else thinks youre awake

these are the questions you have to ask yourself everytime you wake up and are assaulted by the pain we all know as fluorescent fucking lighting. what did you even do before anyway was it like some kind of permanent sleeping mask?

did you think yeah ill prop myself up against this wall while karkat screams about cards and no one will be able to tell?

yeah dude this is terezi shes totally awake and fully present and getting some mad shuteye right about now at the same time. i wouldnt be surprised if that was how it actually worked with you back when you couldnt see but now you can so I guess im going to have to get creative with this

but now the lights probably assaulting your eyes which doesnt help the whole situation of rolling around endlessly as you search for sleep but it doesnt find you. you need to underline the hell out of that last line that was deep as fuck

i almost drew you something for the sake of the crazy old times we had back in the day. wow wild messages were sent back and forth we were the bullshit couriers of our era. for real though you arent allowed to see my drawings you can only taste or smell them. sorry about it 

be grateful you get this blockbuster of a bedtime story if thats even how it works these days

so im gonna start with in some bullshit faraway land where everyone wears weird skirts and theres some wicked silver castles that are larger than texas. no really theyre that big and theyre really inconvenient and everyone gets lost in them and dies all the time 

so theres this princess who ran away to like this dragons castle which was as big as like the alamo or some shit probably which is supposed to be pretty big but how am i supposed to know since ive never been there

whatever anyway so this princess looked just like you except she was obsessed with licking everything and she straight up went to lick the dragon but the dragon was like cool with it so they had some kind of weird kinky relationship complete with sniffing and licking and the princess was like ok this is cool 

but then there was this knight that got sent from this hella kingdom who was like the knight of all things rhyme and he raps at ogres to make them melt or some shit i dont know how this works. but thats what happened this is like the broest bro of the brocentury he doesnt take any shit from goddamn ogres that are peeved as fuck over the solitude of their swamps

the knight gets all up in the ogres grill and they have the biggest rap battle of the century and its so potent with smackdown that the swamp gets crushed by verbosity alone or whatever

the knights like yeah shit thats how we do but this is a mad detour in the wrong direction i gotta get to crazy tongue girl first. so he hip hops or something stupid all the way to alamo castle where this huge ass dragon is like yo knight bro and the princess is like H3LLO C4N 1 SM3LL YOU 3H3H3H3H3 TOO L4T3 1 4LR34DY D1D and the knights like ok but im supposed to bring you back to texas castle so you bump into some walls and dont harass people with your tongue

this is the part where an audience laughs but no one can see where theyre laughing from but its still there and some soldiers are sent looking forever until they die

the princess refuses and confesses he undying love for the dragon and the knights like thats kinda weird but do you or whatever 

the dragon lives happily ever after with the princess and they lick trees and eat a ton of poisonous bugs but somehow are still alive. the knight remains a complete tool and decides to take up ogre dissing as a permanent occupation

oh i forgot also some people are hanging somewhere and everything is the color red

the end now go the fuck to sleep


End file.
